My Angel

I’m at a loss for words. Loosing my dad has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. As tears flow down this all just doesn’t seem real.  I don’t understand it when he was just here. Trying to figure out why has been the hardest part, and something I know I’ll never know or never understand. That said, it doesn’t make this any easier.

Thoughts of dad make me laugh and smile…he was such a badass, or at least he liked to think he was. Some of my greatest memories with him were bike riding around for hours in Deer Park, watching him “get on down with yo’ bad-self” to Motown, James Brown, The Temptations, or telling me to watch how it’s done in the kitchen. Dad never met a stranger, he always knew how to make people smile or tell some crazy off the wall story…and where he got his stories, I’ll never know :).

The last time I saw or talked to him was two Sundays ago at my grandmas. He scared the crap out of me (which was totally typical of him) right when he walked in. Those are the little things I’m going to miss. I am blessed I got to see him one last time and hug his neck. It’s just hard to know that I’ll never be able to see him or hug him ever again.

It’s hard to think in the 27 years of my life why God has never made me feel this feeling before. I’ve never had to lose someone so close to me and I can’t help but just to feel so lost. Although none of this makes sense, I know I have an angel watching over me and that dad is with me. I know dad was proud of the woman I have become. I know he was proud of me for making my life here in Austin, that he was happy to see me become successful, and do what I love to do, which is blog. One of the last text messages he sent to me was “Looking good on Facebook.” LOL. Dad was proud.

As hard as it has been, it’s been so nice to have people touch my heart. Those that have let me know that they care about me and my family, just means so much. We feel their love so much when we need it the most. People I haven’t talked to in forever reach out their love, and that’s real. Thank you all for your love and support during this difficult time. Dad was one of a kind and he will truly be missed.

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